Hey Guys! (Man to man Reqired)

First off How is every one? I myself have been doing quite odd...things are going horribly and well at the same time. (I guess they always sorta do though don't they...) Anyway I personally have not been getting much sleep at all. The earliest I can get to bed is 12:00 P:M EST Time and I get up at 7:00 A:M ( I can never sleep in for some reason, my body just wont allow it) However I do take sleeping pills they just won't work...usually I get to bed at 3:30 A:M. So I feel really awful as this has actually been going on for over three weeks. But to the "Better" news!!!!

Most of you are like 20-30 here (Age Wise) Well I'm still a fricking Softmore in highschool! lol.(16)

If you remember I am from California, but have lived in Oregon for 7 years. But now live in Georgia (Savannah by the way) I had yet to find a lady friend for quite some time. Well I found her about a month and a half ago. It's a really complex situation really. To put it as simple mas possible:

I am afraid of the world and mainly the people in it. This is because of the people that have left me. Left me through Death, betrayal, or abandonment. It has crippled me in the seance of trusting people. That is why I stay at a distance. (Only having friends online such as you guys) As I know you are far away and can't possibly hurt me the same way or to a degree that would matter.

Well this girl makes me not afraid for once. I don't know how or why but it's true. All I know is that when I'm with her and we are talking or even just making eye contact, I'm safe at last. Like when I was a mere child of 6 and didn't know the horrors of the world yet such as death.

So I Have told her how I feel. But I have not said the words; "I want to be with you" Or something along those lines. So what I'm asking for is advice, Man to Man. As my father is emotionally absent, I can't turn to him. As you know my mother is in no condition to here about this, so I'm asking you, my friends. What should I do? How should I handle this? Should I take a chance and ask her out on a real date? Or maybe go really slow and ask her out as a friend first?

I'm at a loss here so please, your wise people, grant me your input.

thank you very much, and I hope all is well.

P.S. In other news I am doing well in school!!!! My average grade for this semester was a B+!!! W00t!!! And I got a A+ On my History Test today

Also my music is coming along...very slowly haha. I think I may have writers block!!!!! :eek!:

Alright I look forward to hearing back from you!!!!! C-ya L8rz!!!!!

How did she react when you told her? thats kinda important... I personally would ask her out dont attach any meaning to whether its a date or friends hanging out let her put the label on it. just go out and show her a good time. Just come up with a plan like, going to the movies or something and ask her to do that. you can take it slow just, dont move too slow though, you dont want to get "friend Zoned" Make a move and stick with it. Best of luck!

disclaimer: this is my personal opinion and is not guaranteed to work.

When I was younger, I was always a little "afraid" of girls in a way... but as I have gotten older that seems to have disappeared. The fact I am now married is irrelevant, because I snagged my wife about the time I was able to walk up to a girl, introduce myself, and grab a date... all within 30 seconds.

My advice is to just ask her, but be confidant when you do it. Next time you see her, avoid saying things like "um" and "uh" and just slap it down for her... "Hey, you know I was thinking... I really like you a lot and I'm pretty damn sure you like me a lot as well. I'd like to take it to the next level. How about [insert fun thing to do] tonight?"

Keep it short and sweet and to the point. Look her in the eyes and stand like a man when you do it. If she says "Yes" then try to avoid looking too excited in front of her (IE wetting yourself or something) and be all like "OK great then

That's probably about the best I can do based on my experience in life up to this point.

Good luck mate

~Sol

*PS*

If she seems unsure, or says anything along the lines of "I don't know if it will work out." Then do what I did and reply with "Sure it will... you know why? Becuase I'm the best there is and I won't let it NOT work out ." Then whisper in her ear "And I can prove it..."

You don't actually have to prove anything at all... unless of course by nature you are a total asshole that likes to beat women or something, then well... yeah lol.

Thanks for the responses Guys I will respond to both of you now!

Aeal5566:

First off my exact words to her where along the lines of what I told you guys. About being afraid of the world and how I feel safe with her etc. It was probably a good 2 mins of talking lol thankfully I did not bore her. There was unfortunately a silence after I told her though....But you know what she did?

She said:

"Hey, Look at me."

(I slowly lifted my head up to meet my eyes with hers)

"Have you told anyone this before?"

(I was suprised at the question and hesitated to respond)

"No, I haven't come to think of it. Holy shit (I giggled a little when saying "Holy shit") "I can't belive I've put that much trust in someone again."

(There was another silence and I looked down again and unmanly of me started to cry very softly)

"Hey, I'm glad you did, put trust in me"

( Although her words where comforting I continued to weap. So she placed her hand on mine and we sat there for a good five mins, just in silence)

Then my my mother F8ing watch went off at 12:25 saying to get back to school campus. (Off campus lunch-we where at a parkish place on a picnic table)

So yeah that's how it went down....thanks for the response though dude!

Sol:

I know you are a wise man, so I will trust what you say. Also what's funny about her is she likes it when I swear. She likes the way I use "bad" words. Also Two weeks ago (You guys will love this) She practically stole my heart.

We where in Art class. I was doing a trace technique involving printer paper and colored pencils and some other stuff. The image I chose was this one:

<img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/f/fd/James_sunderland_mirror_t2.jpg/240px-James_sunderland_mirror_t2.jpg">

When she saw me working on it she said:

"Holy Hell!"

What?" (I replied)

"Is that from Silent Hill 2, James Sunderland right?"

"Motherfu**, you know Silent hill!?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"No, it's just most girls hate Silent Hill."

-------------

And so on and so forth. It just amazed me. She even shares the passion for Violent video games haha. She's F'ing perfect!!!!!

Anyway When I feel the time is right I shall ask her out on a date. But I will not phrase it as a date. If she really wants me back she'll make it a date

Thanks for the help guys it means a lot!!!!! Good to see you again to!!!!

Interestingly enough I said something similar to what you said to your friend (and cried a bit too( granted she had already cried around me because her boyfriend was abusive)) to my girlfriend (before we were dating) and we've been together almost 11 months now! So best wishes to you man!

Hey Barri167!

Thanks for the support man! It means a lot. I really hope it works out with this girl as a lot of shit is happening in my life right now that I neither need nor can I handle at the moment. She will be my savior. (Though I won't put everything upon her lol) Anyway I really need to get some stuff together and then I'll *try* asking her out in my own way. Although it's true, I don't want to be in the firiend zone, all I want from her is quite simple yet deep in some ways)

*Her Love

*To be able to hold her/her hold me

*Her Trust

What I mean when I say "Her Love" all I mean is I want her to care about me. (I believe she already does) I want her to be there for me-

When I say "Hold her/Hold me" That is actually more literal actually. I truly want to just be in her arms, I believe I could do it for hours, even in a completely Platonic way.

Also I said trust because of the following:

She said in school to call her by "8:20 P:M" one day, so I called at 8:15 P:M that night and she nearly squealed with joy when her father handed her the phone saying that it was me lol.

(I guess her trust has been misused as mine has)

So I want her to trust me. As I will not hurt her (On purpose anyway) I shouldn't make a promise on that one, I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do next....Anyway thanks for the encouragement and I'll tell you guys how it goes but give me time lol I want to be rewady before I sign on for this. Or hell I might ask her next mother F'ing chance I get!!!! Wgho knows

Thanks again-Cya

That is why I stay at a distance. (Only having friends online such as you guys) As I know you are far away and can't possibly hurt me the same way or to a degree that would matter.

I'm sorry to hear that things haven't been going your way lately. However, I would encourage you to keep getting out and about and experiencing the real world - there's all cool stuff online and everything, but even for me (serious geek here) I still have no shortage of other things to do. There's music, art, great people, events, ideas, education and so much more out there - you don't want to miss out on all of that, even if life hasn't been kind! As for the girl, hey, nobody ever got a date not asking (and you'll kick yourself in future if you never ask!)

There's a book I'd highly recommend which says what I'm trying to say much more eloquently - "Awaken the giant within" by Anthony Robbins. I definitely recommend you read it - it's a fantastic book to help give you a positive outlook on life. Give it a shot

my advice is to not lose your head. Sounds like she may well like you, but even if she doesn't she sounds like she'd be one of your best friends - so don't mess it up

Also yeah, its probably not a good idea to put everything in one place (e.g online). Try to experience as much as you can, some of it will be shoddy, some will be awesome. Its just the way it goes.

Man, I'm gonna hate when Construct gets popular(sorta haha). When that happens we will never be able to talk about these things without getting flamed(because the influx of people frequenting these forums, some many of them jerks). That's what is great about tight-knit communities. Everyone cares about everyone.

Anyway I wish you the best. Go get 'em tiger.

Edit:We need a cross out code.

Hah, when construct does get popular perhaps the admins will make a forum for all the people who have been frequenting here for months.

When that happens we will never be able to talk about these things without getting flamed(because the influx of people frequenting these forums, some many of them jerks).

That, I think is when I may be issued a ban hammer. A long one that hits hard.

~Sol

Hah, when construct does get popular perhaps the admins will make a forum for all the people who have been frequenting here for months.

This. All of it.

Sol: ROFL

Thanks Mainly for the responses guys. Your support means so much to me I really can't put words in it, but thank you.

Ashley first off. I should probably let you know something quite cool. Just know (10:08 P:M EST) I got back from a friends house that I was at ALL DAY!!! We played guitar, piano, listened to music, played Games, made art. It was awesome. I will be getting out in the world a wee bit more now

Also I will check out your book you mentioned. Although I'm dyslexic, I hate reading lol so I might not be to happy with it (Or any book lol) But I WILL give it a chance. Thank you

alee,

Thanks for the advice, it is truly helpful. I will try not to get consumed by my life, I have been before....I'll do my best. also as stated above I WILL be going out more (Not online as much)

Also you have a great point, I don't have to date her to have that feeling of "safety". I'll I have to do is be close to her in some form or another. Be it a friend or Boy-friend. Thanks man very insightful even though I had to read in between the lines to get your message haha.

And lastly to all whom posted the following:

Your right, We won't be able to post topics like this when construct gets bigger. When it goes national we will have to be more careful. In the meantime let's enjoy our little sanctuary on the web, away from the world (Wide web) haha pad pun. Anyway point being it will fade but let's not worry about till the time arises.

C-ya guys, and again thanks you!

We played guitar, piano, listened to music, played Games, made art. It was awesome.

And here's to much more of that over the next few years (I love piano, play some Chopin!)

[quote:16ackl9s]Also I will check out your book you mentioned. Although I'm dyslexic, I hate reading lol so I might not be to happy with it (Or any book lol) But I WILL give it a chance.

It's definitely worth giving it a shot - I think the same guy does audio tapes as well if you prefer.

And while we're here, I do want to add I really appreciate the community we have here as well - it's small, but very productive and I think there are some great people around! I can't remember the last time I really had to moderate any threads. If we do ever end up massive (which would be nice in its own way lol!), I don't like those impersonal megaforums with 10 threads a minute - I'll make sure there's a 'quiet' area of all the oldbies But still, that's probably like 5 years away if it ever happens, heh...