Didn't even know this was happening... shows how much I use TPB.

I prefer Demonoid xD

~Sol

Aboriginals, typically, in most places.... beg a lot.

"Got a dolla mate?"

The goverment decided a few years back, that GST (goods and services tax) was a great idea! Let's slap 10% tax on EVERYTHING!

"Got a dolla ten mate?"

~Sol

Neato! I like spacey-things. I might make some nice wallpapers or something with this

~Sol

Only Australian's will find that funny... the rest of you will never understand.

~Sol

Fuck Yeah!

<img src="http://dl.getdropbox.com/u/604141/Random%20Images/SR2_pc%202009-03-22%2002-32-53-84.jpg">

<img src="http://dl.getdropbox.com/u/604141/Random%20Images/SR2_pc%202009-03-22%2002-34-57-00.jpg">

<img src="http://dl.getdropbox.com/u/604141/Random%20Images/SR2_pc%202009-03-22%2002-35-33-58.jpg">

<img src="http://dl.getdropbox.com/u/604141/Random%20Images/SR2_pc%202009-03-24%2016-14-33-24.jpg">

~Sol

Nice product placement. Got some shares in Coca Cola as well as DropBox?

Maybe...

~Sol

My longest session is probably about an hour.

Need moar fibre.

~Sol

tl;dr

It's multile, multipe short "occurances"... you dont have to read the whole thing

~Sol

Heeeere I go again on mah owwwwn....

Buddy walks in and heads straight for the PS2 Pre-Owned section like a horse wearing blinkers. After a minute or two of looking around, he comes over to the service counter with "Smack Down - Just Bring It On" in hand.

"Can I buy this and keep it?"

<TABLE>

<td><tr>

<insert = your favourite "ARE YOU A FUCKING IDIOT" face here>

"Ummmmm.... yes it's for sale" says co-worker, trying to contain himself

Buddy wanders back to the shelf, then like one of those robot toys that drives around blindly, and riccocets of the walls... he returns with game in hand.

</insert>

"How much is it?"

</td></tr>

<td><tr>

<insert = your favourite "OMFG DUMBASS" face here>

"The price tags says $35.00" says co-worker candidly

"OK I'll be back when I got some money" says buddy

</insert>

Buddy leaves the store waving to us like he's our best friend from highschool

*5 minutes later*

Buddy returns with money in hand

"I didn't know if you could buy games here..." says buddy as we process his transaction

</td></tr>

<td><tr>

<insert = your favourite "GTFO" face here>

</insert>

</TABLE>

--------------------------------------------

Teh Flaming CDRs

Buddy walks in looking like a buddy...

Buddy: "Hi mate, have you got Adobe Photoshop?"

Me: "No, we dont stock it."

Buddy: "Oh so you can't get it then?"

Me: "I didn't say that. I said we don't stock it, but I would be happy to order it for you."

Buddy: "Ho..."

Me: "About $1600.00(AUD) last time I checked."

Buddy: "OH!@ That MUCH?"

Me: "Yes, that MUCH. But you can get the Academic version for about 1/3 of that price, providing you won't be using it for Commercial purposes..."

Buddy: "Com..mer....??"

Me: "As long as you aren't using it to make money. Commercial purposes."

Buddy: "............"

Short pause

Buddy: "Is that for a burnt version?" fail

Me: "gtfo"

----------------------------------------

What to do with my Electronic voucher comrade?

Very old russion buddy walks in with mail-order bride from 1930.

"ExCuse me bot ver is de Elecktronic WarehouSe?" says russian buddy

(There is no such place)

"Ummmmm?" I say

"De Elecktronic WarehouSe?" he asks again

"Ummmmm.... I'm afraid I don't know who or what you mean sir. What are you lookng for maybe I can help you?" I ask to try and help the poor bastard

Next buddy pulls out an envelope and opens it to reveal a voucher for EB (Electronics Boutique).

"Oh, you want Evil Bastards.... go down to Elizabeth Shopping Centre, there's one there" I say, thinking thats the end of it.

"BuT dey donT have da games dat i vant..." he starts to complain

"Well, that's not very good is it...." like WTF do you want me to do about it

"It's noT faiR!" he exclaims

"Well I'm sorry sir but I can't really do anything to help you, you have to use the voucher at thier stores only." I say... like whatever

"BuT dey donT have da games dat i vant..."

"Well I'm sorry sir but I can't really do anything to help you, you have to use the voucher at thier stores only."

"It's noT faiR!"

"......."

---------------------------------------

The Juice is Flowing

Buddy walks in

"Is that a game?" he says pointing to the wall behind me that plastered from floor to ceiling in posters of every game known to man.

"Ummmm which one?" I ask sarcastically... it was such a dumb question to begin with

"The racing one?" he says, arm out still pointing

"Ummmm WHICH ONE?" *sigh* There's a couple of racing game posters on the wall.... I know which game he means, but he's so fucking stupid I want to make him work for the freebies.

"Oh uuuhhh....." he starres... Maybe he's illiterate??

"Juiced!" he finally says

"Yes it's a racing game, but it's not out yet. It gets released on the 21st of this month" I explain

"So is it any good??" OMG

"I have no idea, it's not out yet. It gets released on the 21st of this month" buddy's face is blank.

----------------------------------------

OMG n00b

Buddy walks in

"Do you sell Playstation 2 and Xbox consoles?"

<---- me

<img src="http://dl.getdropbox.com/u/604141/gtfo.gif"> you are too dumb to be in here

---------------------------------------------

Dipshit Season, Now OPEN

Buddy walks in, pushing the bridge of his glasses back onto his stupid looking face over and over again.... I could already tell this was going to be a good one

Buddy "Is DSL2 available pretty much everywhere now?"

Me "Yep, sure is..."

Buddy "So is it any good for streaming video?"

Me "Weelllll.... current DSL is fine for streaming video , so (DSL2) being 25 times faster than the fastest DSL available says to me that it should still be adequate"

Buddy "Oh.... Ok.... well, at the moment the straming video I get is not very good quality. Wont DSL2 make it like digital quality?"

Me "Yeah, that extra speed sure does re-encode those crappy WMV files to full enhanced optical hi-def digital quality, it sure does..." *note sarcasm*

Buddy "Oh....ummm"

*changes subject*

Buddy "When does XBOX 360 come out?"

Me "Around the end of the year, maybe January next year"

Buddy "What about Playstation 3?"

Me "About this time next year, maybe sooner..."

Buddy "Will you be able to play the XBOX 360 games on the Playstation 3?"

Me "...."

"Yeah hell, sure you can play XBOX 360 games on PS3.... thats why they aren't bringing out the XBOX 360 anymore because you won't need it to play the games" *more sarcasm*

Buddy "........ are they cancelling XBOX 360?!?"

<img src="http://dl.getdropbox.com/u/604141/gtfo.gif">

-----------------------------------------

Damn the CD manufacturers.... yeah

Buddy walks in, the same buddy that's always here, with the same problems over and over again. This visit proves to be no different:

Buddy: "Hi. Errr... I bought this Lord of The Rings on computer, and it doesn't work on it. It just freezes."

Me: "Well, it seems that every game you buy from here has a problem for one reason or another..."

Buddy: "yeah..."

Me: "So isn't it funny how they always work here in our computer when you bring them back?"

Buddy: "...... yeah"

Me: "Soooo what do you want me do this time? I suggest you format your computer and reinstall Windows. It sounds knackerd"

Buddy: "Can I exchange it again?"

I open the CD case and examine the CD... surprise surprise, theres a big fuck-off-ya scratch right through the centre of the disc.

Me: "Well after looking at the disc, I have to unfortunately decline. It's got a mssive scratch on it, and I can't sell that as new anymore."

Buddy: "But I didn't do that"

Me: "Oh, so you are saying you bought a sealed box, and it was like that when you opened it?"

Buddy: "yeah"

Me: "Well that must mean that they manufactured the CD with a scratch in it already huh?"

Buddy: "....yeah...."

<img src="http://dl.getdropbox.com/u/604141/gtfo.gif">

--------------------------------------

Flog, toss, wank, sell...

Buddy walks in... dark hair, bright red beard and moustache... like WTF if that wasn't enough... then he opened his mouth.

Buddy "What do you guys flog in here?"

Me *thinks*I dunno, my cock?*/thinks*

What can this guy mean? Surely he saw the big bright McFluro sign out the front that says Ultimate GAMING in mile high letters... and all the GAMES everywhere when he came in the store. I felt like saying "We sell giant dildo's, and I can tell by your lack of ability to pay attention to things, you need the biggest model we sell"

Coworker "Ummm... games?"

Buddy looks around and realises where he's at. Gee buddy now feels dumb, as well as looks dumb. Mission accomplished.

-------------------------------

<hypothetical sarcasm>

Me walks into the florist across the road

"I'll have 2 BigMacs, a 6 foot aquarium, and a 2005 Ford Falcon XR6 thanks..."

</hypothetical sarcasm>

--------------------------------------------

Broken legs? -

Buddy walks into the shop... must be around 12 years old. He walks over to the YuGiOh cards on display and sifts through the boxes of booster packs like hes got xray vision fingers or something. After about 5 minutes buddy walks over to counter...

buddy - "can i get two yugioh booster packs?"

me - "yeah sure"

buddy stands there... no cards in hand.... stands there starring at me.

(the cards are "self-serve"... customers are just supposed to grab what they want and bring them to the service counter)

coworker looks at me with his best "wtf" face

waiting, waiting...me - "sooo..... which ones did you want then?"

buddy - "one dark revelation and one blue eyes white dragon"

me - "ok...." waits to see what buddy will do next

coworker gets pissed off and goes to get the cards for buddy

me - "that will be $15.90"

buddy hands over his cash and i pass him the cards

me- "so did you want a bag for that?"

buddy - "no thanks"

me - "want me to carry them to the car for you?"

----------------------------------------

MANUFACTURING DEFECT

Lady walks into store

Lady: I bought these games here yesterday and they dont work on my computer, can I get my money back?

Me: *inpects condition of disks... checks system specs*

Well, the disks are a bit scratched, and it looks like you need a 3D video card for these games, I am assuming you dont have one because the rest of the specs are very low.

*hesitates*

OK, I'll tell you what.... I'll let you exchange them for other games, but make sure you get something that doesn't require a 3D video card.

The lady finally finds two new games that have the lowest system requirements I've seen in a looooooong time.

She leaves......

NEXT DAY:

Lady walks into store

Lady: I bought these games here yesterday and they dont work on my computer, can I get my money back?

Me: Confused

*checks discs.... scratched to shit....hmmmm*

So, you are telling me that these games didnt work either?

Lady: No, I just want my money back

Me: *PIRATE ALERT*

Well did you buy them with these scratches in the disc?

Pirate Lady: No....

Me: Well don't try and return them with scratches.... Bye Bye!

*Waves*

Pirate lady leaves

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

HEAR NO EVIL SEE NO GAMES

Buddy walks in

Buddy: Do you sell computer games?

Me: uuuhhhh..... yeah I think we do..... ummmmm....... that entire wall over there? *points* I think those are computer games.... the 8" high letters above the shelf seem to think so as well.

Buddy: Oh.... OK thanks

Buddy browses the games..... picks one up and comes over to the counter

Buddy: So does this work on a computer?

Me: Rolling Eyes Well it surely wont work in an Xbox....

----------------------------------------

Those games are just so, slippery...

Stupid Woman buys something....

Me: Did you need a bag for that?

Stupid Woman: Yes please, I'm going into other stores

Me: *thinking* Yeah... well, I didn't think you'd be staying here... so what's that got to do with wanting a bag....

*anyways*

I give the woman her stuff in a bag, she then proceeds to pull out another bag that has ANOTHER bag in that, and puts the bag i gave her, into a bag, then into another bag.... then walks out.

-----------------------------

~Sol

Thought I'd copy+pasta this here for keepsake... some of you might get a laugh out of my old "workplace".

------------------------------------------

For those of you who don't know, I work in a gaming store in Adelaide, Australia called Ultimate Gaming (kind of like Electronics Boutique or EB (Evil Bastards))

On a repeated basis, I get into a lot of really dumb conversations with a lot of really dumb people. I've decided to post the most recent ones here as I am currently AT WORK and must commit these instantly because they are so DUMB.

Here goes:

--------------------------

Buddy comes up to the counter with an Xbox despatch bag in his hands:

"How much is this?" he asks

"I think its $19.95...." I reply pointing to the price tag

"Oops I didn't see that� says buddy looking rather stupid

Buddy then proceeds to rummage though a massive pile of pre-owned Xbox games, grabs a copy of "Bad Boys 2" and holds it up next to his dumb looking head.

�Is this a DVD movie?� asks buddy

�No, its an xbox game.� I reply smiling

Buddy exits the store...

-------------------------------

Another buddy walks in with his homie mates:

�When is this (game) coming out?� asks buddy

�They haven�t annoucned a release date for that yet� I reply

�Oh..... so when�s it coming out� buddy asks again dumbfounded

�they haven�t announced a release date for that yet� I say again

�.............� buddy just stares and stares at me while scrathing his arse

�So, what does that mean?� buddy asks

*this is where i give up*

"It means you either need to go back to school and learn this language called english, or you need to pay more attention to what people are saying... or maybe both"

Buddy exits the store

-----------------------------------------------------

And it has begun:

Buddy walks into the store looking stoned. He walks upto the counter and stands there like a stunned mullet and casually tosses some crappy PS2 game on the counter, that emerges from within his backpack.

"............." buddy just starres at me

I am well aware of his intensions, but I can't stand people being people so I stare back at him...

"............."

"............."

*A minute later*

"............."

Finally I give in...

"I'll give you five bucks for it"

"Yeah OK" mutters buddy

He didn't sound all that excited

"Have you got any ID?" i ask

"no. What do I need that for?" says buddy

"I need to see some ID, because it's the law. I can't buy this game off of you unless you can show me some ID"

"Fuck this" blurts buddy

Buddy leaves the store... good fucking riddence.

---------------------------------------

The phone call:

Buddy rings up on the phone...

"Hi I bought a PS2 and it doesn't work" says buddy all annoyed

"What do you mean by It doesn't work sir?" my coligue asks buddy

"Well I plug it in, and turn it on and nothing comes on my screen" he replies

After five minutes of fucking around we figure out this:

"Oh I didn't buy it from you guys, I brought it from EBAY from america..." says buddy finally

"Well there's your problem, see australia runs on PAL standard, whereas america run off the NTSC standard" we tried to explain to buddy

"but it says Playstation 2 on it" says buddy

OMFG! repeat above two lines several times...

"So you are telling me, that you bought this thing from Ebay, from america.... and it doesn't work?" we ask buddy

"right" he says

"well what the hell exactly do you want me to do about it?" we were getting mad now

"............"

buddy hangs up the phone

----------------------------------------------------------------

On this fine day

-------------------------------------

"What you need to get in the Gamcube section is Metal Gear Solid, Metal Gear Solid Twin Snakes" asks buddy

"It's not made anymore it's been discontinued" my co-worker replied

"Make me one, I want it" he demands

"We dont make the games we sell them" my coworker calmy responded

"Bullshit! I know how these shops work... Make me one" he was getting irritated

"We don't make them. There is no need to be abusive. We buy them from a supplier who order them in, and they can no longer be ordered as its not made." we tried to explain

"Fuck you, stop talking shit! I know how it works" <----!!!!! like wtf

"Please leave before I call security" *points to door*

buddy leaves....

------------------------------------------

The smoke...

I was outside having a cigarette when some lady walks up me. Derelict and slow minded...

"Sho whitch wuns beettr? plaaaaystation 2 or Exspox?" she dribbles

"........." I'm just like WTF

"Yeah I'd say Xbox, but Ps2 has more games, so...."

"Oh my playshtasun keeps fweezing c0s i play dee gamesh too fast"

"uh huh" I want to ecape, but I've only just lit up...

"And my contwoller does...n't work vewry good" she elaborates

Just then her "partner" walks outside... maybe he's a bit faster then she is? No.

"Are yoo talkinbout my playstashun controller agin?" he rambles

"When I chry to aim its gows" then proceeds with an eractic display of crazy spins, while rapidly looking towards the sky, then the floor while also making sounds that somewhat resemble a beached whale...

"and if yoo git too clowse den they shoot yoo fool of bullits..." hes making a face at this point like he needs to take a crap

"Yeah OK, well we sell new controllers in the store for $19.95, its just inside on your left..." my last attempt to enjoy my cigarette, thinking about how much fun my coworkers will have with this pair of wierdos.

"OH WOW!" they both say

The wierdos run off (literally) to get thier controller

As I come back to the store, my coligue is looking at me with a glaze of daggers, but smiling at the same time as if you say "You're fucked" while I grin uncontrollably at the fact he has to deal with them now...

I stand back and watch the WHOLE ENTIRE transcript as written above take place again in front of the other staff. I had to hide in the back room when it got to the spinning and shreiking stage, as not to burst out in hilarious uncontrollable laugher.

The wierdos finally leave the shop...

--------------------------------------

Where do they come from, and why do they come in here?

Buddy walks in

"Have you guys got MTX Motocross on PS2?" he asks

"No sorry" we reply

"Can you still order it?" he asks

Fair question... so I look on our suppliers website

"No, it's not listed anymore" I inform buddy

"So can you still order it?" he asks again (like WTF)

"No, it's not listed anymore" I say AGAIN

Buddy leaves...

--------------------------------------------

35mm

Old Lady walks in with an opaque black plastic bag, about the size of your average shopping bag and lumps it onto the service counter in our busy computer retail outlet.

"I'll be back in an hour for these" she says and starts to waddle away

I look into the bag and see that is half full of rolls of 35mm film

"That's nice" I say to draw her attention back this direction

"What exactly do you want me to do with it?"

"Don't be a smarty pants! I want one copy of each roll, and I'll be back in an hour to collect them" she squuezed out of her wrinkled bag face

"........ that's nice..." I repeated

"You'd probably have a better result if you took them into a photolab, they're a bit better at this kind of thing than we are." I continued, holding the bag with an out stretched arm.

The old bag face suddenly looked like a lost puppy... shocked and stunned with an expression of something like "aliens abducted me and put me in here... I swear when I walked in it was a Kodak store!"

Truth be told, the shop we occupied used to be a photolab.... 12 years prior. With some people the stupidity is so deeply in grained, 12 years later it's still there.

So anyway, she took the bag and left.

"Have a nice day!"

---------------------------------------

It never stops!

Buddy buys a PS2

"That's $249.00" buddy pays and is on his way

*An hour later*

Phone rings... it's Buddy with his new PS2

"Excuse me mate, but I was just in your store and bought the PS2" he says

"Yes I remeber you sir, what can I do for you?" I ask

"Well doesn't this fucking thing have a fucking ON/OFF button?" he gets kinda mad really fast

"Yes sir" I remain calm

"Hold the reset button for about 2-3 seconds and it will switch off"

*Buddy goes all quiet for about 5-10 seconds*

"IT WON'T FUCKING TURN OFF! THERES A RED LIGHT ON IT!" he's pissed now

"That red light indicates that it's off sir." I'm trying not to laugh at this point

"If it was OFF then there wouldn't be any lights now would there? This is going to cost a fortune in electricity and it's going to wear out before I even get good use out of it!" hes raged like a mad man

At this point I had to take the phone away from my face because I was letting out bits of laughter from the sheer stupidity of people.

"How old is your TV?" I ask

"About 8 years old" he says

"Sir can you turn off your TV for me?" I ask

"Yeah ok, if you think that will help..." he suddenly calmed down a bit

"Now can you verify that the TV is off?" I ask

"Yes it's off" he replies

"OK, now tell me how many lights you have on the front of your TV..."

"One..." he says

"oh... thanks for your time"

Buddy hangs up

-----------------------------------------

OMG It happened again!

Fat buddy walks in with his fat friend and walks over to the cheap $10.00 games rotating stand. He grabs a game and waddles over to the service counter.

"Will this game work on my PC?" he asks holdin up a copy a Nodronics Grand Prix.

"Well.... I don't know. What kind of computer do you have?" I ask him with a look on my face like "Yeah I can read your mind"

Fat buddy proceeds to rummage though a wallett that had more reciepts in it than an ATM trash recepticle to find his "system specs" that he had written down on a napkin or something. Meanwhile fat friend is looking at GameBoy Advance SP games.

"Does this game work on SP?" asks fat friend

Fat buddy is still looking through his portable filing cabinet.

"No. It only works in GameBoy Advance. It's not SP compatible" I say

"Why not? It should be" he says getting upset

"I really wanted this game!" he moped

Fay buddy is STILL looking for the damn system specs... FUCK

"So how old is your PC then?" I ask him

"Only about 6 months old" he mutters... still concentrating on his oragami skills

"It will run the game. No problems there..." I say trying to move his fat ass along

"They are here somewhere..." he continues to look... OMFG GTFO

"Sir, your PC would have to be at least 5 years old or more before that game wouldn't play. Basically you will be fine." I retort... getting impatient now.

"What about this game? Does it work on SP?" yells fat friend

"NO" I say abruptly

"Awww but none of the games I want work on the SP" he whinges

"Here it is!" exclaimes fat buddy

"Intel Pentium 4.... 3.0 gigahertz.... 512Mb of R...." hes reading off very slowly

"Yeah great no problem that'll work no worries cool." I say

"...RAM.... 120Gb Hard Drive...."

FOR FUCK SAKE~! At this point, I have wasted 10 minutes of my life on a $10.00 game that we make about $3.00 profit on, two fat idiots, and trying to explain things to utter morons.

BLAH BLAH BLAH "...and an LCD monitor...." he dribbles on

"Yes fine sir. Your system is more than capable. I'm very impressed" I say out of sheer frustration over this dong head.

"What about this ga....?" its fat friend again

"NO! If it doesn't say SP on it, then it WONT work" fuck this guy. He's like picking every single game that's NOT GameBoy SP compatable.... out of about 50 games, there are 4 that wont work on SP, and he's picked 3 so far.

Fat buddy decideds to buy the Grand Prix game finally... a whole $10.00 fucking dollars. I want to shoot myself, but not before kicking fat buddy in the nuts, and knocking fat friends teeth out of his head.

Fat buddy excalaims "I've always wanted a version of Grand Pricks!"

---------------------------------------

OI YOU!@ FAT BITCH

Fat old stinky lady, so fat she was creating a warp in the space/time continueum as she rolled/waddled/crawled past. Too bad she stopped outside the shop... right in the middle of the mall. She's been after this fucking Mahjongg game for ages, and we can't get it, but she insists that if we find something we have to let her know.

"HEY HAVE YOU GOT ANYTHING FOR ME YET?!?!" she yells from her fatty lungs in the middle of the fucking mall.

Like yeah, don't acctually come in the store like a normal person... GTFO

----------------------------------------

-SOL

*EDIT*

This is a copy/paste from a conversation with our other store shortly after the above incedents occurred. It has nothing to do with anything really, but I thought it was funny.

UltimateGaming - Myer Store says:

today makes me feel like setting myself on fire

(there was a GIF animation of a stick figure here lighting himself on fire)

Ultimate Gaming - Munno Para says:

hahaha

Ultimate Gaming - Munno Para says:

same ere

UltimateGaming - Myer Store says:

how much have you done?

UltimateGaming - Myer Store says:

hmm, not much then

Ultimate Gaming - Munno Para says:

$(confidential amount of money)

Ultimate Gaming - Munno Para says:

and 60 cent

UltimateGaming - Myer Store says:

oo, thats like fiddycent +10

Ultimate Gaming - Munno Para says:

ha!

UltimateGaming - Myer Store says:

lol, that sounds like a dungeons and dragons weapon

UltimateGaming - Myer Store says:

-smites you with his fiddycent

Ultimate Gaming - Munno Para says:

HAHAHHA

---------------------------------------------

The Rightious Ones:

Frigging fag buddy coming in and asking for fucking pirating software

I said 'NO' and give him a really evil look

His face was like "Oh, you sell games, I'm a tool"

Buddy exits shamefully

---------------------

Sooo.....??

Buddy points to second hand games.... "Can you order in Cart Fury?"

me: "You cant get it any more its too old"

Buddy: "But you have Burnout up there, and thats old"

me: "yes its pre-owned"

Buddy: "So i cant order one?"

-----------------------

~Sol