Bevar in the Wild Kickstarter!

Patriick TELLES0808 AnD4D OrangeTapioca Rory Okay, so I made a second video, it goes more in-depth about the gameplay and stuff, Haven't added it to the campaign, but I wanted to see what you guys think. youtube.com/watch

InvaderX

It's important to have a video set up to show what type of message you are putting across even if the audio is on mute. On this latest video, you are holding the camera in your hands while spinning back and forth on the chair and generally not looking at the camera.

This, to me, suggests that you are either not comfortable making the video, or you simply don't care. Either way, this puts the same feeling across to me, seeing as you are asking for my (and of course, others) money. I do not feel comfortable in doing so, or doubt that you'll finish the game (based on the video alone).

I'll admit, I only got through about a minute and a half before I turned it off.

My suggestion would be to try and make a video without anyone speaking. Maybe have some nice music, and some screenshots and text explaining what the game will be like.

i think you should hold off on the kickstarter campaign for now until you can get your stuff ironed out. it's just not the video but the description especially the game part and the kickstarter comment.

InvaderX

I don't think the new video is playing to any of your projects strengths, or likely to win over investors. The main reason for this is that for the most part it's treating the viewers to an up the nose Worms Eye View of your face, and the constant movement of the chair makes everything a bit wobbly. I'm afraid I gave up watching after the first two minutes.

Now, to play to your strengths - you have a voice over guy, so use him to do all the talking. Put that over any in game footage, or stills you may have, giving descriptions of game play elements that might set your game aside from the hundreds of other kick starters out there. Try to resist saying things like 'its going to be cool' or 'hey, this is really awesome' and show the viewers what's awesome about it.

One of the biggest strengths you have at the moment is you respond well to others criticism. If you keep up with that sort of attitude, I'm sure that in time you'll go on to do well. Although I doubt this Kickstarter will succeed as you're asking for a lot of money and not yet giving people enough incentive to invest, I'm sure that you'll learn a lot from the process and hit back stronger and harder the next time.

Whatever happens, finish that game (I'm sure you can make it without financial investment. That's what being a hobbyist game maker is all about!) and keep on listening to the advice of the good folk on this site. They've helped me out a lot - half of the time without even realising it.

Patriick TELLES0808 AnD4D OrangeTapioca Rory Okay, so I made a second video, it goes more in-depth about the gameplay and stuff, Haven't added it to the campaign, but I wanted to see what you guys think. youtube.com/watch

Well I'll have to give you kudos for trying again, and honestly. Now I know more about the game so thank you, but I think you would need to have another attempt but I'm going to try and offer some pointers and not just be an ass and not give reason for saying that.

I do love the idea behind the game too by the way, it sounds interesting andd quite fun...

I saw someone else mention tha tit didn't look like you cared too much, this is the impression you kind of give at times on the video from looking away from the camer and such but (I guess it could also be nerves of recording?) It appears as if you're not paying too much attention, that can be fixed easily enough though!

Instead of holding the camera up and moving around so much I suggest maybe setting it down on something sturdy and if you want to move around and wave your arms and such as some people tend to do when explaining things then it shouldn't be as distracting/disruptive.

With all of that said I pretty much agree with Dave Hailwood, he hit the nail on the head with his response and has said some of which I would have liked to have gotten out but perhaps in better words.

InvaderX

I don't think the new video is playing to any of your projects strengths, or likely to win over investors. The main reason for this is that for the most part it's treating the viewers to an up the nose Worms Eye View of your face, and the constant movement of the chair makes everything a bit wobbly. I'm afraid I gave up watching after the first two minutes.

Now, to play to your strengths - you have a voice over guy, so use him to do all the talking. Put that over any in game footage, or stills you may have, giving descriptions of game play elements that might set your game aside from the hundreds of other kick starters out there. Try to resist saying things like 'its going to be cool' or 'hey, this is really awesome' and show the viewers what's awesome about it.

One of the biggest strengths you have at the moment is you respond well to others criticism. If you keep up with that sort of attitude, I'm sure that in time you'll go on to do well. Although I doubt this Kickstarter will succeed as you're asking for a lot of money and not yet giving people enough incentive to invest, I'm sure that you'll learn a lot from the process and hit back stronger and harder the next time.

Whatever happens, finish that game (I'm sure you can make it without financial investment. That's what being a hobbyist game maker is all about!) and keep on listening to the advice of the good folk on this site. They've helped me out a lot - half of the time without even realising it.

I would love to see this project finished, I honestly don't think the project would die without getting funded but I know for sure it would make things easier! At least with Kickstarter, if you fail. You can always start another and try again at a later point to help out.

I am surprised as how well you've taken the feedback/criticism so far, at least you're trying. Some people would just get annoyed and give up or get knocked back and the attitude you show for getting right back and trying again is good in my eyes... You will surely succeed if you keep at that as Dave has said.

The best advice here has to be to get your voice actor to help with the talking and such... Hopefully he is available?

I hope some of what I have said helps and that things go well, I will keep my eyes on Bevar, I like the sound of it so far.

Patriick Dave Hailwood OrangeTapioca AnD4D Thanks guys, The feedback really helps, also I dont generally look at the camera, mostly because i'm thinking, I do that when I talk to people sometimes, I'll have to stop that /)_< Though, I kinda do need the money, I cant get far an free stuff, you know? Though I like AnD4D's idea, and maybe instead of text, I could use the voice over guy/Lyndan to say stuff, like Dave Hailwood suggested. Though, I still really appreciate the feedback, and happy you guys care enough to help out. It means alot! :D I really hope I can fix things before the Kickstarter is a TOTAL lost cause (I still have 31 days :I). Is it possible I could make another Kickstarter on the same project later on?

You can actually. if your kickstarter doesn't get funded. but i don't know exactly how shortly after it can you make another one (Don't think they have one?)

InvaderX

I believe AJTilley cancelled his kickstarter, and then relaunched it very soon after with a lower financial goal (might be worth checking t&cs on kickstarter). It was a very brave move on his behalf, as I think he'd already managed to raise almost a thousand when he cancelled it. But because of the way he approached things, and made good use of social sites, his kickstarter was successful (it also helped that as well as capturing the Ftl fan base, his game has a Choose Your Own adventure style system that sets it apart from the competition). You can probably still find his game on kickstarter (can't remember its name offhand, but there should be a link in the c2 games on kickstarter forum section) and study how he approached his video, setting out goals etc.

Theres also a well written tutorial about how to approach a kickstarter somewhere on this site which is well worth a look if you haven't already read it.

With kickstarter, its not just about the money its also about drawing people's attention to your game. And with almost 800 views of this topic already, you've managed to achieve that.

Best wishes, and good luck.

InvaderX

I believe AJTilley cancelled his kickstarter, and then relaunched it very soon after with a lower financial goal (might be worth checking t&cs on kickstarter). It was a very brave move on his behalf, as I think he'd already managed to raise almost a thousand when he cancelled it. But because of the way he approached things, and made good use of social sites, his kickstarter was successful (it also helped that as well as capturing the Ftl fan base, his game has a Choose Your Own adventure style system that sets it apart from the competition). You can probably still find his game on kickstarter (can't remember its name offhand, but there should be a link in the c2 games on kickstarter forum section) and study how he approached his video, setting out goals etc.

Theres also a well written tutorial about how to approach a kickstarter somewhere on this site which is well worth a look if you haven't already read it.

With kickstarter, its not just about the money its also about drawing people's attention to your game. And with almost 800 views of this topic already, you've managed to achieve that.

Best wishes, and good luck.

...blasted ipad! It gave me an error message saying I don't have permission to post in this forum, and then posted my reply twice. I hate technology! That's it, I'm going to become a Mormon!

Thank you all so much for your advice and assistance! We are working together to fix this whole thing. We thought we had it all ironed out before we started the kickstarter, now I realize there's so much more work to be done to it. We're working on making it better. Thanks again for your help!

Woah, I didn't even notice! Almost 900 views..

Dave Hailwood

Spacial Flux ?

Whiteclaws

That's the one! Thanks for that.

InvaderX here's the link to ajtilley's successful c2 project on Kickstarter: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ajtilley/spatial-flux-2?ref=live

I'd also recommend that you ask any close friends and family members to donate to your game as soon as possible, as you need something to break that 'zero' balance and start the ball rolling. Just be sure to mention to them that if the game doesn't get full funding then they've lost nothing, and if it does get funded then they'll have your undying gratitude.

good luck :)