Families are referenced the same way as objects. For example:
runtime.objects.Sprite.getFirstInstance();
runtime.objects.FamilySprites.getFirstInstance();
I'd like to know how to get the family name of an object I have a reference to
It's usually the other way around - to get the object name of a family member use FamilyInstance.objectType.name
I don't think it's possible to find which family this object belongs to. But you can try to pick family instance by object UID. Here is how I would do this with events:
On Clicked Sprite
EnemiesFamily pick by UID = Sprite.UID
If the sprite is a member of EnemiesFamily, this event will pick it.