Hello,
If you destroy (use the common action destroy) on an instance, it's not supposed to be there anymore and so shouldn't collide with other objects.
If you simply set it invisible, it will still collide indeed.
Depending on the behavior used on the object, there should be a "disable" action.
At worst you can add another condition in your "on collision" event to make sure the object is visible/on screen.
Also I think you should check out the tutorials like the beginner's guide to C2, how to make a platformer game, building a platform game a beginner's guide and some others like make a fancy lifebar.
There's a lot of documentation out there, nothing to easily make the transition from GM though.
Hopefully this will help you along the way.